…but He can.

Another day. Another problem to fix.

I’ve heard that boys are supposed to be “fixers.” For instance, girls will vent to boys because supposedly they just want someone to listen, but boys think they want their problems to be fixed. When the boys try to fix the girls’ problem, the girls don’t take the advice; they just wanted a listening ear.

I must be a bad girl then. If I tell someone a problem I have, I want it to be fixed. I am going to them because I think they will have the words to say that will make me feel better.

So, you can only wonder how I feel when people tell me THEIR problems.

“Have you tried this?”

“Maybe you should do this instead…”

“That obviously isn’t working so maybe you should change the way you’re handling it.”

These are things I find myself telling people. I will come up with a plan to solve their problems. I want to change not only their situations, but them. (I’m a real class act, y’know).

You can imagine how well this goes with others. Wait. Let me rephrase that. You can imagine how poorly this goes with others. For some strange reason, I decide to try and take the load off their shoulders and put it on mine. Imma need a back brace pretty soon if I keep this up.

So the other day I’m really bitter and angry at this one person. I’m thinking about how rude and stubborn they are. I’m memorizing things to say when I see them again because I WANT TO CHANGE THEM. Because, I mean, I’m obviously perfect in every way and know when someone needs to change. Duh.

Just kidding.

This happens all the time though! And it FRUSTRATES me. I think that I can actually change someone. Maybe I can influence them in some way, but change them? Yeah right. No wonder I’m always frustrated.

Back to the story. I’m thinking about this person and am praying that God will use me to change their heart, that He’ll give me the words to say. All of a sudden, in the midst of my proud prayer, I said something that even surprised me:

“God, I am trying to change them. I’m trying to help them, but I can’t be around them all the time. It seems like nothing I do is working. I can’t help them. But you can.”

And just like that, the load is off my shoulders. I can’t change anyone, but God can. God does. He changes hearts of stone to become soft and loving. He humbles the proud. He brings people out of the darkness.

After 22 years of trying to do the impossible, I’ve finally figured out something — I can’t save. Sure, I can influence them, but I can’t really CHANGE them.

I mean, I can make a difference in someone’s life, but I can’t always be by their side, especially in their darkest hours. But God can.

Even if I help lessen the load by listening, I can’t always be with them to listen. But God can.

Sometimes, prayer doesn’t seem like enough because we want to be someone’s savior. We can’t be. But God can.

Maybe you’re like me and you try to fix everyone’s problems. Just stop right there and give it to God. You don’t have to completely abandon the person, but their decisions are not your responsibility, their heart is not yours to fix, and salvation is not yours to give. I know it just feels like someone slapped you in the face, but it’s the truth. As much as we want to help people, there is only so much WE can do. God can do all things though. We can give it to him. We can fervently pray for people and let God do miracles. He can take the burden, yours AND theirs.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m completely wrong. What do you think?

¹⁵ Therefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, ¹⁶ do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: ¹⁷ that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, ¹⁸ the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, ¹⁹ and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power ²⁰ which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, ²¹ far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come.

²² And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, ²³ which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.

Ephesians 1:15-22 (NKJV)

Faith